Sometimes I think about the particular nature of blog posts: how they are utterly their own thing, a little egg of thought, so small you can carry it in the palm of your hand. Sometimes I find myself wanting to write one even when I don’t have any good blog post ideas. So that’s what I’m making today, because a blog post is what I want to make, it’s what my hands and my mind feel like creating: a casual blog post.
Here are a few things that are on my mind today:
I’m obsessed with the new Florence + the Machine video for “Big God” (pictured above). All I could think when I watched it this morning was that I want to be able to write how that video looks. It’s charged with creative energy, and so stunning, so well-crafted. I want the things I make to have the same force and passion and beauty to them.
I miss traveling. A year ago, I was in Ireland, gazing in abject wonder at a landscape that truly does feel as magical as everyone says it does. I want to be back there, where the land itself feels imbued with ghosts, and the trees have their own spirits, but even more than that, I want to put my feet in new places.
Today and yesterday have both been hungry days — days when I consume and consume and never reach satisfaction. My stomach is like this sometimes, but my brain is like this always. I want and want and want, and no matter what I chase and catch, it’s never enough. Usually I’m okay with this, because it keeps me working, keeps me moving toward something. The problem comes when I don’t feel pulled in any particular direction, so the energy, the drive, is here with me, but I’m unable to do anything with it.
There are flies in my house and I hate them, but today I’ve started considering the metaphor they could be. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m sure there’s something.
The mess of my inside is slowly but surely spreading to my outside. I had better stop writing for a bit and bring these dirty dishes out to the kitchen, brush my hair, and put on some pants.